Alrighty Blockheads.  We’ve just passed the quarter mark and we’ve had two teams threaten to walk off, a fender bender, and a pool that will never be.  If you haven’t already, strap in and hang on to your tool belt because I’m absolute certainly this bumpy ride is only just about to get started.

Yeah that’s right. I’m. Me. This blog is coming to you now in the first person.

Think these recaps are written by a few Kennards peeps or an agency? Nope, not at all!

From now on these posts are coming to your screens from The Blockette. I’m watching The Block along with you and giving you my no holds barred point of view of what’s happened in the last week, from a reno and styling point of view. Well…I’ve been doing that anyway so this shouldn’t come as a surprise now!

A few things you should know about me. I’m a semi-DIYer with their own apartment in Suburbia Straya.  I say semi-DIYer because a lot of the work involved requires heavy lifting or some sort of expertise, so I leave that to The Hubby and do what I can.  Like tell him what the next project is. And consistently ask him when he’s going to finish rendering the bloody living room wall (it doesn’t take 4 months to render and repaint a wail does it?  Am I right??) or put my cake decorating skills to use and paint the apartment myself after watching an episode of EasyTV, the greatest DIY digital video series this planet has ever seen.

And it just so happens I’m watching The Block for the first time ever. And The Bachelor (aka The Badgelor).  Don’t judge me, we all have our vices. Let’s just say this has been an eye opening viewing experience.

Anyway you’re not reading this to figure out who I am.  So, on to this week’s recap!

Week 5 - Living and Dining Week

I'll start with one of the couples I think is going to become a force to be reckoned with, and they haven’t won any room reveals this season yet have dominated in the uber stressful challenges.  Norm and Jess, you are my spirit couple.  You’re ambitious yet amicable, you get at each other yet don’t insult one another, you learn from the judges, and love a good bargain off of Gumtree. Norm and Jess have come close to winning a couple of times, but their styling is just not quite there yet. 


Source: The Block Official YouTube

 

Now’s a better time than never to talk about that elephant in the room.  It’s a real shame the Queenslanders can’t put a pool in.  As we all know a pool adds significant value to a property, and if you have one in a penthouse you’re just living the dream. I can kind of see why Courtney and Hans (ok…just Courtney) would wrangle up support against the pool.  Not cool babe by the way, but I understand.  Know what I would have done in your shoes Court? Tell Norm and Jess if they win the terrace and The Block as a whole, I would make sure to get on camera them promising they would donate the entire Room Reveal week winnings and 20% of the winnings at auction to charity. The whole backstabbing image would have then faded away in history like Vanilla Ice did

I digress. No pool, no problem. Norm and Jess fight water with fire and install a very classy fireplace in their living room. That one feature elevates the penthouse to a whole new level. They have their work cut out for them though as they can’t place the fireplace in the spot they want due to the lack conflicting information between the compliance certificate and the instruction manual for the fireplace, but that certainly won’t stop them.  Using some scaffold and, quite literally, Norm’s brute strength, they manage to get the fireplace in just before power tools curfew comes into effect. 

From a styling point of view Norm and Jess bring in Australian history and culture into some of the unique pieces they have in the room, and judge Darren Palmer loves it. It’s obvious he really loves the room.  And it’s obvious that Shaynna Blaze does not.  But she’s clutching at straws with her weak reason that the marble underneath the fireplace will yellow and get dirty.  However, she is right when it comes to the dining table. According to her it’s “squat” and doesn’t fit in with the rest of the space at all.  I mean, who else thought it looked like an old lunch table taken from a staff lunch room? It was polarising to come from the luxurious living area to that drab and small table.


Source: The Block Official YouTube

 

Astonishingly Bianca and Carla planned this week well.  So well they finished early and were not running around like chooks with their heads cut off, scrambling to get their room finished or cutting corners and failing to put required items in a room.  As judge Neale Whitaker put it when judging the room that Bianca and Carla “have a real sense of easy luxury”….whatever the hell that means. Bianca and Carla however have the same problem with their space as Norm and Jess, where one half is spot on and the other is lacking.  Shaynna couldn’t get her eyes off the misaligned air con vent, Darren remarked at the lack of lighting in the space, and Neale wished he was back hanging out at Norm and Jess’.  In all the netballers are consistently just short of winning due to small flaws in their space.

 


Source: The Block Official YouTube

 

Hayden and Sara made good TV drama by fighting with each other and are back at the bottom of the leader board. I’m not going to waste good writing space by talking about their supposed marital woes.  Their room made it painfully obvious they had gone back to their old ways of inconsistency, and it’s the main reason they are back in the position they’ve become so accustomed to. It makes absolutely no sense to put a living room in between the kitchen and dining area.  Seriously, think about it for a second. Would you want to carry a hot roast across the lounge area and risk staining the carpet, or walk the 20 metres back and forth the bring lunch to the table? Judges will have no sympathy or patience for complaints on losing from now on.  That time is come and gone.

 

Source: The Block Official YouTube

 

Kerrie and Spence had a rough one this week. Using a different joist clip than what you’ve been told to use isn’t taken lightly due to safety, but when you can’t produce the spec sheet for the ones you use that’s a big problem.  The pressure of this mistake and the delay due to trying to find said spec sheet took its toll on Spence and Kerrie and nearly pushed them over the edge.  I’m sure being on a reality TV show isn’t all what the camera shows you and is mentally trying, but Spence and Kerrie really showed this week how mentally strained one can become when you’re in a competition with cameras in your face all day and producers whispering things in your ear, trying to instigate some sort of reaction.

While they just managed to finish the ceiling (which looks freaking awesome!). With all the working involved nailing the frames in place and gluing the boards to create the coffered look, the styling fell just short.  They loved the ceiling and the living space that created a conversational area, and remarked that the home automation combined with the mirror like TV (insert The Hubby here “Blockette can we get one of those? Please?”), shows the potential of not sacrificing one function over the other. Again however it was the same story as last week, where the judges are wondering where the personality is in their room, comparing it to a 90s board room.  But this time however they thought it would be an easy fix to bring some emotion into the room.


Courtney and Hans have had a record of bumpy starts on The Block, so I really hoped that this week would be smooth sailing for the Perth couple.  Let me just say, it takes some huge cajones or sheer stupidity to go on one of the biggest reality shows in the country and not have an clue about how to gut out and renovate an apartment. Hans said it perfectly last week, the outcome of these rooms are all about Courtney’s styling.  It really isn’t about the craftsman or workmanship, which is really unfortunate (ahem, hey Scotty Cam we need to have a chat about how these units are scored. Styling doesn’t help if the ceiling looks like a dog’s breakfast). 

Courtney girl, you have got to start believing in yourself! Your styling is what sets you apart from the rest of the teams. I had no idea burgundy and mustard could go together, and if that were in a retirement home (which it would never be), I would be one classy grannie.  You seemed more confident this week and it showed when the judges decided you had the best room.  Your hero piece dining room table has been what the judges have been looking for from you since the beginning, and the green velvet chairs just bring the area together. The artwork and accessories in the niches bring out your personality within the room.  Having a conversation area with a high tech bar (“Blockette can we get a bar like that?” said The Hubby) and a separate tv viewing space really worked and everything, while being separate area, worked incredibly well together. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Here’s all the equipment Courtney and Hans used to make their gargantuan living and dining space happen:

 

So who will rule the room next week, and who will come crashing down?  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  Keep your tools sharp and your hard hats on Blockheads!